amicustenebris | Duplicity

To get to my apartment? Yes. That's generally how these things work. Do you know how easy it was for me to just walk up here?

[ No part of Carver wants to endure this quietly. He wants to hit something, put his fist through an enemy’s face just to feel the bone give. He’s off balance, weak. It’s not the first time he’s taken an injury that knocked him out of commission, but this happened so suddenly there was no preparing for it. And now he has no brothers or sisters at his side to shoulder the load. To watch his back.

The worst part is that Gold’s right. This location is exposed.

Carver works his jaw. ]

Fine.

[ He hates this. And he hates Gold a little for witnessing it, even though Carver was the one who called him here. ]

[ Nothing that Carver is experiencing is something wholly alien to Gold; the set dressing is just different. So he does not lack empathy for the man, on some level. On the other...Gold is Gold, and he has for a long time had a lot of freedom to pick and choose how much patience he has to allot to other people, for the sake of his own comfort. ]

You said you wanted a favor.

That was when I thought you could fix me.

[ It comes out sharp, angry. Carver digs his nails into the wall, hating how still he’s holding himself.

He grits his teeth. He’s weak. And you can never be weak in front of other people. ]

What?

I told you from the start that my magic was not a guarantee, and you certainly didn't feel like providing any specifics to narrow things down before I came down here.

[ All things considered, he is keeping his tone very even and calm. One of them should be. ]

And I am going to help you. I just can't snap my fingers and make things better, and even if I could, the cost likely would not be worth the product. No sense that you still have would be worth losing in exchange -- that's magic. And if our hosts are responsible, there are some they wouldn't let you trade anyhow. I can reiterate, however, that it is likely temporary. I am offering you a safer place to wait it out. All that I ask in return is that if our situations are ever reversed you be willing to make a similar effort.

[ Carver would shoot Gold a nasty look if his eyes were working. Instead, he ends up glaring at the far wall. This entire situation is hateful.

But Gold has a point, in the end. And the terms are as reasonable as either of them are going to get around here. ]

I can do that.

[ His tone is very even. Not any calmer than before, but less overtly hostile. ]

That all you want for it?

In a place like this and the position you find yourself in, other than an outright get-out-of-jail-free card, what would matter more than safety? [ And someone safe to be around if you HAVE to be around someone? ]

Safety is conditional.

[ Safety is fleeting. The only people that Carver trusts completely are his people and none of them are here.

He exhales through his teeth. Embrace the suck, soldier. Get through this.

Survival is a choice. So, survive. ]

How are we doing this?

I am offering it as a condition because that is what we both seem to be comfortable with. I already told you. Contracts are what I know.

[ A breath through his nose. ]

I am bringing you to my apartment in the Up. Does it concern you that people will see you? Because that is unavoidable; throwing a sheet over you like a bird in a cage is not going to make you feel any better. What I can help is whether people think you are at a disadvantage you cannot control, or something you are choosing to do.

[ None of this is comfortable. But it has to be done, so he’ll survive. It’s just another test.

He snorts. Biting down bitter laughter. ]

Make it look like a sex thing? Cute.

[ But it’s less of a weakness than telegraphing to the whole city that he’s gone magically blind. ]

Let’s do it.

If that is how you choose to interpret it.

[ Gold has established more than once that bedroom things, as far as he is concerned, stay in the bedroom. ]

Do you have anything you wish to bring with you?

It’s all sex and control, Gold.

[ Just the reality. They all have to maneuver within it.

Carver exhales through his teeth. ]

No.

[ He sleeps with his weapons on him, when he sleeps at all, and there’s nothing else he cares to bring with. The mask is hidden; it serves no purpose out in the open. ]

[ He is not going to argue with him right now; there is no point. He removes a handkerchief from his pocket, and there is a sound like tinkling metal as he coaxes the bolt of silk into something longer and easier to maneuver. ]

I am going to touch you.

[ So that he doesn't panic. ]

[ Carver cocks his head like a dog, listening intently. He knows - mostly - where Gold is. That doesn't translate to a full tactical picture. There are gaps. That's going to matter if it swings violent, and it always swings violent by the end.

Still: ]

I won't flinch.

Good.

[ He comes around to bring the length of cloth over his eyes. It's carefully folded, pulled taut enough to be secure but not uncomfortably so. It'll look like he's completing some king of exercise. The both of them, really.

But maybe it'll make Carver feel better. Convince himself it is just the blindfold. Cement that it's temporary. ]

I am going to walk ahead of you. Keep a hand on my shoulder, and I will tell you when the terrain is changing.

[ True to his word, Carver doesn't flinch or lash out. He can hear Gold's footsteps, his words. It's telegraphed enough to pass muster. But the way that Carver goes utterly - perfectly - still is probably telling on its own.

The blindfold isn't painful. It's just there. Like this is a choice they made. Like the razor.

He takes a breath. Lets it go with a hiss. ]

Okay.

[ Gingerly, he reaches out and curls his hand around Gold's shoulder. ]

[ Gold similarly takes a moment to muster himself, covering Carver's hand with his own to keep it there while he turns around to lead him out. He remembers his way out well enough, and if he doesn't verbally tell the other man they're turning, his hand comes back as something of a signal. It makes it easier to feel which way he's turning. ]

[ This part, at least, is familiar. He’s done trust exercises before. Run drills under varied conditions, including with limited sight. He’s been hit with tear gas before. Flashbangs. Gotten blood in his eyes. Sometimes, you just have to trust the person leading you.

Carver exhales through his teeth, but he doesn’t fight it. He moves where Gold leads him. ]

[ Getting them back to the Up doesn't take long, and Gold keeps his dialogue simple, relegated to directions, to the tasks before him, roads to reach. Almost like he is drawing Carver a map.

It's almost a relief when they reach housing and mount the elevator, but he doesn't fully trust that. It's something these people built. They want it to feel that way. ]

[ Funny thing is, Gold's good at this part. Knows what details to focus on, how much to give. Just enough to keep Carver centered. He doesn't move through through crowds, either, and he doesn't slow.

It's easier that way. They're moving.

Carver doesn't say a word, for his part. He just moves. And if sometimes he tenses up and tightens his grip on Gold's shoulder, that's just a thing that happens. And then they're in the elevator.

That happens, too.

Carver shifts so he can put his back to the wall and doesn't say a word. ]

We're in front of my door.

[ When at last they reach it, the smaller passage between his room and his neighbor's. The jingle of keys as he gets the door open. ]

No one comes in here without my permission. It is my duty to make certain of that, not yours. You are safe here. Do you understand?

[ You are safe here. What a joke. He's safe exactly nowhere. That's not how the world works. Carver's fingers twitch against Gold's shoulders but he doesn't laugh or sneer. Just holds still, and waits as Gold gets the door open. ]

No one comes here without your permission.

[ His voice is very flat. But he believes that much, at least. ]

[ He doesn't want to have to manufacture a reason for you to believe him when he says he's often the most dangerous man in the room, Carver, but he suspects, with a quiet sigh, that one day this terrible place will do that for him. He's not going to fail to show up when that happens. ]

Here then.

[ Once inside he closes and locks the door behind them. ]

By chance, did that survey appear on your device as well?

[ Carver’s fingers twitch again. He has a thing about enclosed spaces. The walls looming around him, enemies massing in the corners. Always, always on his guard. He prefers cramming himself into tight spaces to sleep because at least then nothing can sneak up on him. And now he can’t see.

Carver twitches. He doesn’t let go of Gold’s shoulder. ]

Yeah. Couldn’t get rid of it.

[ He spammed random letters. As you do. ]

Likewise.

[ He doesn't have enough to say whether or not it's connected, but after the books last month? Sure, maybe he's already looking for patterns. Like the more he understands will make him feel a little less out of control, here. ]

I'm doing my best not to engage with too much that's new -- that others are openly remarking on as new, anyhow. Not while I am still getting my affairs in order here.

[ He guides him over to the living area to sit for now. ]

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