amicustenebris | Duplicity

[ There need not be any discussions of pouncing or hammering while he is trying to concentrate, please and thank you.

After shrugging his vest away, Gold does take the invitation to draw closer for what it is, for a moment perhaps too aware of the warmth of the other man's body and drawing out a less than subtle second-glance. ]

...Likewise.

[ While he found himself imagining that he wouldn't hate a little more forcefulness than he definitely was employing right now, he was never fond of violence. He doesn't fully comprehend the notion of doing something that would otherwise be used to injure and then calling it sex. ]

And beyond that, if you need to stop, say so.

[ Not that he won't be probably frequently checking in anyhow. ]

[ Carver hums a little, leaning back on the bed. Braced easily on his hands. It's a casual gesture, much more casual than he feels. But this is happening, one choice following the next, and he likes the way that Gold looks at him. ]

Like I said. You won't force me.

[ That's not why he came here. He reaches out to catch Gold's wrist, pressing his thumb against the pulse-point. An easy hold to break, if it comes to that. But it feels good just to touch another person. ]

I'll tell you if I don't want something.

[ At least I have the impression I wouldn't have to. He almost says something, but at least this time, he has sense enough not to let it escape this time. Instead, he just draws near, slipping his free arm about his waist and capturing another kiss while he takes in the feel of the two of them in full contact. ]

[ Carver leans into it, slow and languid. How strange, to finally be able to slow down without feeling like he's going to lose his mind. But his heart rate is steady, and he likes how it feels when Gold presses against him. He leans into the kiss, deepening it with a hum, and rubs a slow circle against Gold's pulse point.

It's nice. He doesn't let people touch him like this very much. ]

You want me to touch you?

[ More than this, he means. ]

[ For the moment, Gold allows himself to savor, taking in what he already knows feels good, and right, and allowing that to give him some momentum to advance -- just as much to treat his partner with patience as it is to give himself room to get past his own uncertainty. Where one man's heart is beginning to steady, he feels his own beginning to rush. ]

...I do.

[ Thing is, Carver’s good at reading people. It’s something he worked at, something he was trained on. How to pick up cues, the sorts of body language that reveal pieces of the people around him. It’s just a matter of paying attention. And he’s paying close attention now.

He squeezes Gold’s wrist briefly, then shifts to trail his fingers up the other man’s arm. Just to see what it gets him. ]

Yeah?

[ Even over the folds of his shirt, it's very clear this is probably more contact than he's accustomed to having with other people. On his other hand his fingers mirror Carver's, tracing the lines of an arm quite unlike his own and following where the softest twitches of nerve and shapeliness of defined muscle carry him.

They're close in a way that he just wasn't around others, a way that he had not managed to feel out yet, not since getting here, and everything about it made it important to prolong a little. The warmth of him, the scent, just the very stable presence he created. And maybe part of him sensed there had been something very similar missing for Carver, too, a hole filled. ]

...Yes.

[ It’s slow, deliberate in a way that Carver isn’t certain he’d like under different circumstances. He’s set most - though not all - of his knives aside. Stripped off most of his layers, his armor. He doesn’t give a fuck about his scars one way or another, but it’s been a long time since another person’s laid eyes on them.

He wouldn’t be doing this back home. Would have no call for it. Yet it is happening, and in the calm moments - in this moment - it just feels good. He doubts the calm feeling will last - his moods tend to swing wide and wild these days - but for now, it’s nice. Right now, they aren’t enemies. Right now, it feels good to be touched. To have Gold’s fingers trailing up his arm. Light, and so very careful.

Carver shivers a little. He doesn’t flinch away, though. Just runs his fingers over Gold’s arm, steady and calm, and watches to see what it gets him when Caver gives his arm a small tug. Urging him closer. ]

Like I said. Not gonna flinch if you touch me.

[ He’s got a feeling he ought to be careful with Gold, though. ]

So I see.

[ And he doesn't retreat when drawn nearer, mostly chest to chest at this point, but any closer and he's going to be in the man's lap, which was not how he planned his approach here -- for as little planning as there was. The kiss this time doesn't linger for as long, an assurance, but then it trails, against the corner of his mouth, the line of his jaw.

Soft, fleeting little tastes.

Small ventures as he feels for every shift he can, hear every sound, be certain he is advancing in the right direction, and not with too much haste. ]

[ Carver hums, low and pleased, and leaves his hand on Gold’s arm for now. A loose hold, but an anchoring one. It feels easier than the last time, when there was a blade involved. When Carver bared his throat to a stranger and called it at least half a choice. That hadn’t been about trust - except for the pieces where it had been. But it happened, and Gold never once cut him.

Could have. Didn’t. These things happen.

He spreads his legs a little, so there’s more room. So Gold can settle there without climbing on top of him. Nice and easy, for now. Carver feels himself going loose, tension draining away. A rare thing, for him. He doubts it’ll last. But for the moment, he tips his head back - ignoring how it bares his throat and the hateful line tattooed there - and just lets himself feel.

It can be good. For a little while. He gives Gold’s arm another squeeze and then begins trailing his fingers again, ghosting over Gold’s chest. Light touches, for now. He figures there are boundaries. That’s all right. He knows how to pay attention. ]</small€

[ Gold's immediate reaction isn't one of alarm -- Carver has done well to feel around for boundaries rather than blunder carelessly over them, so when a hand brushes over his chest, his immediate realization is that he is feeling more constricted than he first thought; his free hand comes up to begin to loosen his tie.

But he doesn't allow that to distract him.

Once it's clear that Carver doesn't think he's going to tear his throat out or worse, he takes that as opening to move down further, his lips finding where his neck and his shoulder meet. ]

[ All right. Maybe Gold won't stay in his clothes the whole time. Carver's breath hitches a little as Gold moves in closer, trailing down, but he doesn't flinch. It's a light touch. Won't even leave a mark.

Carver hums a little, nodding. ]

Feels good.

[ It does, somewhat to his surprise. It's slow. He's calm. Novel things, in his life. ]

[ A short glance up, to try and read his expression. ]

That is the idea.

[ And he lingers there for a moment, taking a moment to appreciate the shape of him, but his hands do not venture anywhere that he hasn't already revealed. ]

Do you want me to go on?

[ Smartass. Carver’s mouth twitches a little, a faint smile ghosting across his face. He watches Gold, thoughtful.

It’s strange, to be this calm. There’s a part of him that wants to take advantage before it inevitably swings, because it always does before the end. But that would mean rushing, and he doesn’t want to. Not here, not with this man. ]

Yeah.

[ In this sort of mood, he doubts there’s much he wouldn’t let Gold do. Carver watches him for another moment, then leans forward to kiss him again. A little harder this time, dragging his teeth. ]

[ And he's suddenly drawn back up again, and there is a noise of mild surprise and pleasure. He brushes the backs of his fingers over Carver's cheek, something unplanned for, a spark of tenderness that rose with him. For the time being, he was simply in the moment, fully present, and something approaching content.

Nearer than he had been in a long time.

He drew back, just enough to speak, smiling against the other man's lips. ]

You are very distracting.

[ Oh, that's a nice sound. Carver leans into the touch thoughtlessly, chasing it. He doesn't do this anymore, this - slowness.

Except that he is, apparently.

He grins against Gold's mouth. ]

Yeah, I know. Gonna do something about it?

I suppose I ought to.

[ Before Carver does something first and then he's too empty headed to be of use to anyone else.

He ventures a touch, trailing a palm down along the man's inner thigh, trailing along the feel of warm muscular flesh somewhere beneath fabric. He would have considered this a little forward, but he's taking the man at his word that he can go on -- and testing, in a way. If this is too much, too quickly, he can trust he'll hear as much. ]

[ That's nice, too. Carver tips his head back, breathing out slow, and grins again. He doesn't mind. It feels good. A promise of other things, more to come.

He trails his fingers along Gold's arm again, nodding. He doesn't flinch. He said he wouldn't. ]

[ It has been long enough since the last time Gold did this (with intent -- and without it just being a story in a book) that he might be overthinking his process right now; in spite of the heat rising in his cheeks or the steady but slow rush of it further south, when he is focused he barely notices, and already his mind is a checklist of tasks, steps to take to look after the person he is with.

With a clear sign that he hasn't gone a step too far, he continues his advance, trailing exploring kisses from his lips, back to his jaw and down his neck again. Fingers spread wide as he flattens his palm into a slow, more pressing stroke. ]

[ Not for the first time, Carver thinks about the razor that Gold held to his neck not so long ago. The circumstances were different then, but it was still a choice.

This is, too.

Carver takes a slow breath and then lets it go, shivering a little. The warm feeling just spreads, and he likes the feel of Gold’s mouth on his throat. It feels good to be touched. He’s calm and he isn’t often, thoughts always racing - pushing, pushing, pushing against everything around him. But not right now.

Now, he’s calm, and he shifts to curl his hand against Gold’s hip. Encouraging, even as Carver arches into the touch.

It feels good. That’s enough. ]

[ Every little touch from Carver, however small, sends the message that there is some desire to reciprocate, and that throws his senses some -- it doesn't allow him to completely forget his own body, something that is far more common for him to do in situations such as this. It reminds him that there are layers of cloth separating his own skin from open air and from him.

A small shudder runs up through him.

Soon, there's just the moment, and Gold closes his eyes. There is only the scent of him, the taste -- his tongue teases the line of his collar bone, and his hand, slow and careful but an ever-present weight, presses further inward. ]

[ That's nice, the way Gold shivers. He's not one for big reactions, seems like, but Carver's good at paying attention. Sometimes - like now - he can even slow down long enough to settle into that calm place while he's doing it. Carver closes his eyes with a hiss as Gold touches him, not bothering to be coy about it.

Yeah. This is doing it for him. He feels warm, and calm, and on his way to hard. ]

[ Unknown to many, likely even Gold himself, is that his reactions are contained because he's focused. Because while he is caught in the experience of it all right now, even though what he discovers elicits an appreciative shiver, a little sound uttered against Carver's bare skin, Gold is still primarily unconcerned about anything but making certain this is worth something to the one he is with.

Encouraging whispers, coaxing fingers. All applied with one goal in mind.

Trust is a precious thing for anyone to offer, and he uses it with care. He is the last person he would choose -- his effort is a reward in itself for most, a reminder for others that they have misjudged something. ]

[ It’s strange, how hard this is hitting him. Carver shivers again, his hand curled around Gold’s hip, and takes a breath to steady himself. The warm feeling just echoes through the whole of him. He can feel it everywhere, pulsing out from his chest and settling in odd places. The very center of his palms, behind his eyes. Deep in his gut.

It’s gentle, and slow, and that -

It’s a lot, suddenly. ]

You can do more.

[ His voice comes out soft, and a little hoarse. What is it about this man that throws him off balance every goddamn time? ]

I want you to.

[ Gold is near enough now to be sitting hip to hip with him, which in itself is electric even with layers of clothing between them. His contact with other people, especially positive, is often so minimal. So he has to use caution even when his senses are demanding more. Because then he'll lose his aim and direction.

A soft hm against his shoulder when he speaks. Gold's hand carefully feeling the shape of him while his thumb quests for the sewn lines of his trousers, seeking catches, buttons, zippers. He sits up a little, lips brushing the shell of his ear. ]

Do you have something for me?

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